Tempest in a Teapot
a personal teaching anecdote
By:
Füsun Atalay Copyright © 2004

Recently I was asked to cover a grade seven French class during the first period as the regular teacher was involved in a fender bender on her way to school. These requests for emergency substitutions, as their name implies, are made at the last minute, and consequently one has to run around trying to find the work left by the regular teacher for such unexpected circumstances.

I ran to the workroom for the French department where, I was instructed, the work should have been left in the top drawer of the gray filing cabinet with the teacher’s name and the heading "Plans d'enseignement de Suppléance". As usually is the case, there was no such work. Sometimes teachers don’t expect to be absent under any circumstances either because of their dedication to this honourable profession, or because of trying to live up to the society’s misconceptions that they are infallible.

A colleague of Mme Poirier calmed me down saying that it was an easy morning. Students were to complete their portfolio work by the end of the day, so most of them would be working on that first period. Some who may have finished theirs could read their novels.

The class room, a 15 foot by 15 foot square of faded vinyl tile covered box was decorated with Halloween paraphernalia although there were still two-and-a-half weeks to the trick or treat day. Silhouettes of witches on their broomsticks and plastic pumpkins decorated the walls.

Pumpkin shaped candles, stretched out cotton hanging over the blackboard, tiny night bulbs in the shape of skeletons strung on a long cord framing the board certainly created the eerie effect associated with this day. My first thought was, "This looks just like an elementary school room."

Then I reminded myself that nowadays not much difference exists between the attitudes and behaviours of elementary and middle school children since neither act their appropriate ages.

As soon I opened the door and let the students in, I was bombarded with the dreaded question in the face of the obvious.

"Miss, are you a sub?"

"A sub" means that they will try to do everything not permitted by their regular teacher to see if they can get away with it with the sub. There is no way to know the parameters by which a teacher operates. Does s/he allow them to go their lockers during class? Can they work in pairs? May some go to the library to complete their work on the computer? Are bathroom visits permitted before recess?

No matter how many times I promise myself that I will be strict for the sake of my own sanity, my soft side takes over when a student begs me for one of the above. After all, if s/he doesn’t have one item needed for work, what is the point of denying access it so that s/he can work? Or, if the task was started on the computer and today is the deadline why not allow work in the library? Bathroom? Who am I to say "Too bad, sit down and wait until recess!"

Soon, before I knew it I had written a note asking the librarian to permit six students (maximum number without a teacher’s presence as I was to learn later) to work there; four had dashed off to their lockers to fetch coloring pencils or the first part of their portfolios and two girls had paired off and one scrawny boy with thick glasses had barely made it to the bathroom ,leaving the remaining twenty to work silently on their own.

That’s when another French teacher dropped in to read the names of fourteen students who had overdue library books, and the librarian wanted them right away to speak to them. The fourteen left in a flurry. Of the four who had gone to their lockers, two came back empty handed saying they thought their work was there but it wasn’t. A familiar line. It was just an excuse to get out of class, and I should have known better, but too late now. Then the overdue book culprits started trickling back one by one. Fifth student who returned had some news for me.

"Miss, four of them are not even using the computers, they’re just sitting at the tables, so why can’t me and Melanie go instead? I really have to work at the computer."

That sounded like a reasonable request. But no sooner than he finished his words, five other students surrounded my desk asking the same. That meant another note to Mrs. Porter asking to send the four who were there under false pretenses back, and in their place allow the five bearing the note to work there.

Two minutes later the same five I sent came back with a note from the librarian. "All six are now at the computers. I cannot allow any more as I have the max. no. allowed without a teacher".

Meanwhile, the noise level had gone up and I had to get that under control. The disappointed five returned to their seats without much intention to work. As I got their attention and asked them to bring the noise down to work effectively, the scrawny boy with thick glasses put up his hand.

I was ready to help anyone who asked for it. But his wasn’t a request for help. In an indiscernible, broken French he was trying to say something. I thought we could bend the rules a little and told him,

"Tu peut parler Anglais "

He was asking if I could turn off the flashing skeletons, because they should really wait for Halloween to have the special effects. To this another girl objected in a very fast spoken , indiscernible in yet a different way, French. Of her I had to demand,

"Parle Anglais!"

What does one do when students begin taking over and telling contradictory stories about their teacher’s habits? "Mme P. lets us talk when we work." Or, "Mme P. never lets us go to our lockers, how come you let Marc-Andre go?"

I keep telling myself that next time I will be strict and not let anyone move. No talking, no lockers, no library, no partners! I don’t care if they think I am one of those witches whose crooked nosed, bony fingered silhouettes hang from the windows. At least that will be far better than trying to calm the tempest that being an understanding, sympathetic and compassionate teacher can create.

Next time, did I say? Hmmm. . . At this rate, I wonder if there will be a next time.

Copyrighted Material ~ Copyright © 2004 ~ All Rights belong to Füsun Atalay